Monday, 01.04:

Mom and I had our long talk today; nothing resolved. She’s confused; she says I’ve changed (of course I have, but I really don’t think I’ve become such a monster).

Finished a letter to Keith and then figured what the hell, so I called him. Talked a few minutes. He asked if I had seen anyone. I said no, I had hardly been out of the house. He said he’d been out, with someone I knew really well. I thought, Mark? Then, Ed? (“We had a wild night.”) Ed? And Keith?

I don’t know what I felt. God. What do I feel? Keith and Ed? (Keith and anyone but me?) Who was I fooling anyway? (Me.)


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